Robot dog - man's best friend or a no-fat nag?

If I had this dog, I'd be so fat. Just because I'd want it to be sad all the time!

Fear the clown

I’ve never claimed to be cool or have my finger on the pulse of the young generation, but surely this is an elaborate hoax gone way too far.

I was innocently watching TV on Sun, and during the commercials of regular shows that people my age should be watching, I flipped to the MTV VMAs. And there was some guy on the stage and he said something about Clowning vs. Krumping. Now, krumping I had vaguely heard of (probably due to my new found obsession with MTV’s My Super Sweet 16) but clowning was new to me. And there were a bunch of hip hop type dancers dancing (or krumping) and one freakshow wearing normal hip hop clothes with a giant rainbow clown fro.

Then I promptly forgot about it until I was having coffee with the 1 cent short bunch and I mentioned it. There’s apparently an entire movie dedicated to this movement. Instead of joining gangs, inner city kids have the option of joining clown dance troupes where they wear the full on clown suits, makeup and such. Because it’s cool??? Or maybe it’s just krunk.

Maybe I am a square. But really?? Clowns?? A friend compared how I’m feeling about clowning with how our parents must have felt during the height of the baggy, low trousers craze. (not that it ever seemed a good idea to me, but I did accept it without question) But, as far as I know, that was a completely new phenomena. It came from the streets, or something. It wasn’t co-opted from the American circus clowns, which was co-opted from European clowns from before they ever invented America (from what I understand) . Not scary dark clowns, regular clowns.

As we were trying to rationalize it, lots of theories came up. Are they like peacocks, they show their colors to attract women? Are they identifying with the under appreciated life of a clown? Are they saying they’re clowns = fools, and that's what they are? Is life in the ghetto so much of a circus that it might as well, literally, be a circus? I was told to stop over thinking. At least I know, for sure now, that I'd be a horrible YA librarian.

Is anyone aware of this clown thing? I get the impression that it’s something pretty localized in Southern California, but made it big when the famous music stars started picking it up.

Rize the movie

MTV article on the craze

Personally, I still don’t believe it, and I’m sure it’s a really elaborate hoax. Surely, I’m being punked. If it is a real movie, does anyone want to see it with me?

Maybe clowns are perceived as tough because so many people are afraid of them

UPDATE:

The Rize movie is being compared to another movie I've never heard of about the Drag Queen competitions: Paris is burning --- could be interesting

This Tommy the Clown guy, is apparently an evangelist and a clown, and a former crack dealer-- So many careers!

There's a fantastic NY Times Magazine article from June 19, 2005 called The Clowning, Rump-Shaking, Wilding-Out Battle Dancers of South Central L.A. If you don't have database access, I can email you the article, if you're interested.

From what I understand when you're clowning you're wearing a clown outfit and krumping. But you don't have to be dressed as a clown to krump.

This Day in Music

Find out the #1 song on the day you were born, or any day for that matter. UK and US charts.

This Day in Music


Mine: Blondie's Call me

I knew there was a reason I like Blondie. And it's not just because in order to rhyme she chooses to have men from mars who eat guitars, bars and cars.

Brought to you by the letter T

You can't tell from this picture, and I promise to try to get a better one but camera phones have their limitations, but the Snapple cap on the back of this Torrance Transit bus reads:

Snapple puts the "Tea" in Torrance

And the letters t, e, and a are actually in TorrAncE.

I wonder if this sort of ultra-specific advertising is worth it for companies. I also wonder if Snapple has some kind of partnership with Torrance. I'll ask my favorite librarian next time I see him. Not that I read the backs of busses often, but I've never seen anything like that before. Are they in other cities?

Intervention Please

Barbie has apparently become a popular clothing line for grown women. I say this because even though it is being stocked as Jrs pjs, I don't believe that jrs aged people are wearing it. In every department store I've been in in the last two weeks there has been stuff, and I have no self control. This is what I've purchased in the last 2 weeks.


It all started innocently enough, I wanted this shirt from barbiecollector.com. It was expensive for a shirt, but I got a gift certificate for Christmas.



Then Hot Topic had a wife beater

And Robinsons-May was carring a line of Barbie Pjs, almost a year ago

And then I bought the other shirt from barbiecollector.com because it was on sale, even though I knew it was crap. And I'll never wear it because the polyester is so disgusting.

The Finale

This is what I have now, including the cap from FAO Schwarz. As you can see there are more items than days in the week. In fact, there are exactly as many shirts as there are days in the week. I have a problem. I'm admiting it, but I can't stop myself.

It seems that since the dolls aren't selling well, due to stiff competition from those piece o'crap Bratz, Mattel is just licensing out the image hoping to make $. And it's working, I guess. The full retail value of my collection is over $200. I didn't pay full retail except for the cap and 2 shirts, but still. And, if you believe it, there's more out there that I haven't bought. Someone needs to keep me from buying it all.

Bumper Sticker

I came across this bumper sticker while reading my daily library blogs.

What's amusing is not the clever geekiness of the sticker, but the time and effort the user-reviewr took to write his review. He explains the whole thing for the lay person, as if anyone besides someone who already understood it, would buy the thing. Or maybe he just wants to sound smart.

It seems this guy has a lot of stuff, and nothing but time for review writing.

Also, I guess I'm out of the loop, but I had no idea you could set up Amazon profiles with friends and everything.

Mindset List

I have to say, I don’t know, or care to know, what this Beloit college is. But I do know I’m glad I didn’t go there, because they think very little of their students. And I know y’all hate lists, so here’s another.

Every year, apparently they publish a Mindset List

I won’t even try to speak for a year that’s not mine, because the 1980/2002 list is problematic enough. A school in New Zealand has taken up the list making, but they stick to historical facts. Beloit just decides to pass value judgments on what kids know or remember. I won’t list all the ones I disagree with, because that’ll be super boring. I’ll try to only bore you for a bit:

They can only remember one other president.

Even assuming the statement means presidents in my lifetime --- good gosh

Bottle caps have not always been screw off, but have always been plastic. They have no idea what a pull top can looks like.

Huh?? What?? Huh? Last time I checked, they still make metal bottle caps.

And some need no annotation

They are too young to remember the Space Shuttle Challenger blowing up.

Roller-skating has always meant in-line for them.

As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.

There has always been MTV, and it has always included non-musical shows.

U.S. Teenage Girls Prefer Japanese Heroes

Manga is like the most talked about thing since sliced bread. Every article for the last 5 years mentions how surprising, and how dynamic the manga market is. It's not news anymore, yet the just keep reporting

This article is kinda interesting, but still features obvious jems like this:

"Comic book stores aren't necessarily girl friendly," says Julie Taylor, the editor of shojo manga at Tokyopop. "Manga reaches people because we got into the major book chains where girls feel comfortable going."

The People's Vote

US News and World Report and the National Archives worked together to come up with the Top 100 Most influential Documents in US History (up to 1965)

Top 10 here, rest at website

The Top 10 Milestone Documents:
1. Declaration of Independence (1776) 29,681 votes
2. Constitution of the United States (1787) 27,070 votes
3. Bill of Rights (1791) 26,545 votes
4. Louisiana Purchase Treaty (1803) 13,417 votes
5. Emancipation Proclamation (1863) 13,086 votes
6. 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution: Women's Right to Vote (1920) 12,282 votes
7. 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution: Abolition of Slavery (1865) 11,789 votes
8. Gettysburg Address (1863) 9,939 votes
9. Civil Rights Act (1964) 9,860 votes
10. Social Security Act (1935) 8,157 votes

I don’t claim to know history, but I didn’t realize the Louisiana Purchase was such a big deal. Is it? Or is the voting just skewed? Obviously gaining a plot of land is more important than the rights of minorities and women. But, #4, really??

And if you have time don’t forget to read the National Archivist’s speech full of likes like this:

Not only did the People’s Vote challenge voters to really think and learn about these 100 milestone documents, but it encouraged enthusiastic debate in homes, classrooms, workplaces, and online

Desk Set

The movie touted as the best librarian movie ever, really is the best librarian movie ever. In fact, Desk Set is actually a good movie.

Katherine Hepburn plays Bunny Watson the unmarried, yet very cool head of the reference department for a TV studio. According to IMDB, Hepburn was born in 1907, making her 50 yrs old when the movie was released. A 50 year old spinster librarian, “how typical” you say. But it was far from it. Hepburn is no mousy librarian, she’s quick witted, smart, well dressed, and I want to grow up and be just like her. 3 younger women work under her in the reference department, all of them well dressed, smart and likable.

Enter Spencer Tracy as the quirky computer guy. He comes in and starts measuring things and observing the reference girls straightaway. (remember what a computer looked like in 1957). And from the first interview, we see he’s taken with Hepburn’s brain and her quirky brand of charm.

As things are with large corporations, there is no communication between top management and everyone else. So the girls in reference are sure they’re going to be replaced by this new monstrosity of a computer that’s supposed to come in, but they keep right on being fantastic at reference, because they are fantastic.

Meanwhile we find out that Hepburn has been casually dating a jerky man upper management for 7 long years. 7 years, and he can barely remember to ask her out in a timely manner. And then ends up breaking the date to do upper management things. And at one point he has the audacity to give her carnations as an “I’m sorry.” Carnations!!! Any boy who brings me carnations had better be trying to break up with me, because that will be the response. I’m willing to give a little for the time, almost winter in New York in 1957, there probably weren’t a lot of options. But he’s management, he could do better, if he cared.

Christmas is where it all comes to a wonderful head. Everyone is dressed festively, and the girls in reference, especially Hepburn, have had a few too many celebratory sips of champagne out of paper cups. Oh the librarians, oh the drinking, oh the drunkenly, yet correctly answering reference calls. Hepburn is even awesome when she’s drunk. And as a present Bunny receives a very large stuffed rabbit. Large enough to have a zipper in the back from which to pull another large bottle of champagne. I must have that bunny!

I don’t want to spoil the movie, since it’s actually good. But obviously, in the end, Hepburn is no longer a spinster. The movie is much better than I’m making it sound, because I can’t possible recreate Hepburns mannerisms and style. You should watch it. Your local library probably has a copy, that’s where I got mine. I think I may actually buy this movie and watch it when I’m depressed. It’s also a slightly different frame for the usual “will computers replace people” arguments.

Hepburn’s character could kick that Noah Wyle’s character’s ass any day.

Not for the pure of heart

So, as it turns out, I’ve come to believe I’m not a crazy who is offended by Hollywood movies, and/or condemns works before I’ve seen/read them. Actually, I’m offended by the whole concept of virginity. Virgin/whore, stud/slut… I just can’t deal with it anymore. I’m way out of high school why do I still have to deal with such myopic labels. There, I’ve said it. Now I’m a social outcast who will never find a job.

This imaginary concept has been used to terrorize people for centuries and I’m calling it out! So, people have sex. Big deal. So, people don’t have sex. Big deal. Why is there even a word for it? It’s no one’s business except the people involved. Sex only has as much power as you personally give it. Why let it be a bully?

I’ve never been to Hawaii, plenty of people have and plenty of others haven’t, I think it might be a pleasant thing to do in the future, maybe even with my imaginary husband. But for now, for whatever reasons, I haven’t been yet. Does that make me fundamentally different from the people who have been?

What especially offends me are those virginity rallies. I don’t care to have all the facts, so I’ll just make them up. But group a bunch of kids in a stadium for a few hours, tell them that God loves them and hates people who have sex, and brainwash them into submission. Now, think about all of that time being wasted. If you sent the kids out to join Habitat for Humanity, or a big brothers/sisters organization, or a literacy program…just think how much good could be done. If I were God, I’d be ashamed of all my people frittering away their time being vain about their virginity when they could be doing actual public good.

How can I help you?

Good customer service is really a magical thing. So magical, that I never expect it. So, when it happens, I’m always amazed. So often we complain, about the bad. Now, I’m taking time to praise the good.

At work we have 2 travel agencies I have to call, the nice one in the mall which tends to be the more expensive on and the evil lady in LA. Since I’m being positive, I’ll ignore the evil one. The people who handle our account keep getting promoted, because they’re so fabulous, and we get a new agent a few times a year. This week I’ve been talking to Tim. Tim is so nice, and knows how to treat customers, and even when I’m giving him hard things to do, like find decent flights to and from Estonia, he’s nothing but fantastic. I have a crush on him, even though I’ve never met him. I’m tempted to go to the mall and visit, but if he’s ugly, I’d be crushed. Tim, most likely will get promoted out of the mall soon too, and there’ll be another great person to replace him.

~~~~~

The Rex Libris comic published by the indie Slave Labor came out this week. The website had no release date, and no way to buy online. So, I called my dad’s favorite comic shop to ask if they had it/ knew anything about it. They said they don’t carry the indie presses unless people ask beforehand, but were super cool about referring me to a shop in Santa Monica and this shop was getting it on Wed. and they were very happy to help. But since I swore off places with billboards, the Santa Monica option wasn’t for me. And after going a bit deeper into the slavelabor website, I found their retailers. Third planet, just a hop, skip and jump from my work was on the list. They were also super nice, even though they said they wouldn’t get the book until Aug. 31. (I didn’t believe them, but they were still very nice). And then I called Comic Relief, because having Lydia (who is also very nice, and definitely competent) seemed like the easiest option. And they were lovely. I called them once to ask if they had it, and again to put it on hold. And it was a very pleasant experience.

Walking into any comic shop puts me way out of my element. I’m usually so bewildered that I don’t really pay attention to the guy behind the counter. But I suppose you have to be legitimately helpful when your store is fighting an uphill battle against the usual bad guys.

Most of all, none of the people I spoke to seemed anything like the stereotypical comic book store guy.

Lydia thinks they were just happy to have a girl call.

Dance your cares away *clap clap*

This is post 400! My blog has gotten way too negative lately. So I’ll forgo posting about why the county is so incompetent that it can’t even catch one little alligator and focus on happy things.

On September 6 the complete first season of Fraggle Rock comes out. I couldn’t be more excited. I thought I was excited when I checked the Best Buy ad on Sunday and saw they had a Fraggle DVD on sale. So I looked it up, to make sure it was a deal, and found the good news. It even comes with a replica notepad.
~~~
I really like the way my nails look when they’re painted, especially if I’m wearing a ring. I’ll look at my hands and for a split second I think I’m looking at the hands of someone much more exciting and glamorous than I am. To get this same satisfaction less of the time, I only have to paint my thumbnails, because they’re all I see when I’m driving.
~~~
Coffee is so good with heavy cream. It turns that beautiful caramel color, not that creepy gray color it turns when you add milk. I * heart * fat.
~~~
And on that note, I’ve made enough ice cream now that I’m getting confident in my abilities, and mostly my ability to pick a good recipe. I haven’t done anything crazy yet, like try one with gelatin or pudding mix, but maybe one day. Also, I’ve started making half-batches, which means I can make twice as many flavors but not have gallons and gallons of ice cream sitting around. Because, it tastes best right out of the machine, and then I kinda forget about it.

Last night and the night before I made good on my talk of chocolate covered strawberry. I couldn’t decide which flavor base to use, so Tues I made strawberry and Wed. I made chocolate. It’s pretty darn good. I chopped strawberries into about 6 pieces and painstakingly covered each piece with chocolate. You can’t immediately bite into them when they’re frozen, but after about 1-2 seconds in your mouth they turn out pretty well. I think this is a flaw that will keep me from selling it commercially—too many broken teeth lawsuits. In addition to the chocolate strawberry chunks, I meant to add chocolate flakes or a swirl to the strawberry base, but I forgot. It still tastes good, and I have a lot more tries to go before it’s perfect.

I’ve been using Trader Joes 70% Pound Plus bar, a bargain at about $4 for 17.6 oz. It’s rather dark and not very sweet. A bit too not sweet for eating on its own, but for covering strawberries and melting into the ice cream base, it’s fantastic. They also sell the pound plus bar in other varieties, but for ice cream, I think I’ll stick with this one. I’m not a milk chocolate fan.

If anyone will be in the area, I’ll take flavor requests, but do it soon. It seems that the kitchen remodel is happening about 9 months ahead of schedule, and starting mid September I may be sans-kitchen.

Party Girl

Against my better judgement, and since the other crappy movies I tried to get weren’t on the library shelf, I watched Party Girl last night.

My questions are, who wrote that crap, and how did it ever get made, but mostly, who did they think their audience was?

The plot: Party Girl, Parker Posey, lands herself in jail and her matronly, menopausal, spinster librarian godmother gets her a job in her library. At first Parker is resistant to the library and all its rules, but eventually turns herself and the library around. Valuable lessons are learned by all and they all live happily ever after

How it unfolds: Parker throws house parties for cash in her barren but giant NY loft, which is illegal. She also crashes hotel parties and steals designer clothes. And she gets arrested in the first 5 minutes.

In an early scene we see her in her loft with her gay fashionista friends, and she tells him, “don’t touch those, they’re in order” and he replies “they’re jeans.” Which gives us our first hint that maybe she’s cut out for a life of organization.

After a few false starts at the library, and some snooty workers, things look up for Parker. She smokes a little pot in the back, and the giant poster of Dewey starts staring at her. And we have a library montage of shelving and organizing and learning Dewey Decimal. A library montage, complete with music, cartwheels, closing the card catalog drawers to the beat, and skating on book carts. This trumps the library dance scene in the Breakfast Club, by far (which was also pot induced, if I remember correctly).

And she really settles in, meanwhile still into the party scene. And then at closing time one day her crush the foreign falafel vendor comes in and asks for info on how to be a teacher, she helps him, one thing leads to another. And the inevitable happens, sex in the stacks. All wrapped up in the moment, she doesn’t realize she’s left the windows open, and the next morning she gets fired, because she left the window open, and a condom on the top of the trash. (at least it got to the trash can)

Heartbroken she has no job, no income and sells all her fantastic (stolen) clothes to cover the rent, and after a drunken hallucination, she marches back to the library and demands her job back, the librarian won’t hear any of this crap during work. So they arrange a time to meet at Parker’s loft. Meanwhile at the library all the other workers try to help her as she tells them she wants to go to library school. And for about 1 min they sit around the table books open, hitting on the finer points of academic v public librarianship, differences in programs, locations. Super boring for the common folk, and not news to library folk. (Seriously, how is this a movie?) I imagine my reaction is something like how scientists feel when actors start spouting off crap about science.

For the denouement, Parker returns home to find her crazy party friends have thrown her a surprise party. Seconds later spinster-librarian trudges up the steps and wanders in on loud revelry. Meanwhile Parker is dressed in a super-conservative designer outfit and is trying to force everyone to go home. Of course, they don’t listen. Spinster librarian is in shock, but the mob slowly convinces her to give Parker another chance “she card catalogued my records” “she organized this and that,” “she helped me find info on how to be a teacher.” And the librarian is shocked by the last one, she’s not a trained professional, how dare she help find info! however did Parker do it? Well she tells us, ad nauseum, in an exchange that only lasts a few seconds, but feels like forever based on all the library buzz words: state certifications, telnet, FTP… good lord, who the heck cares?

And of course librarian gives the job back, and agrees to help get Parker into library school. They break the piñata, and the movie ends just as Spinster Librarian is about to bite into a pot brownie.

My Issues: Ignoring the fact that the movie sucks, and the early 90’s style is a bit overwhelming, there are only minor issues. Librarians generally like this movie because Parker’s character offers a younger, hiper alternative to the spinster librarian stereotype. But, the Spinster librarian is awful, and in the beginning, so is the other library staff. One major flaw in the movie is that the librarian keeps telling Parker “your mother was a woman with no common sense,” implying the same about Parker. She repeatedly says this, but it never comes out why. It’s very confusing, and distracting to expect a back story, and never get one. And Spinster librarian is really just a bitch. Although, under the bitch exterior she does have a love of the profession and a deep desire to protect it.

IMDB is obviously wrong with a 6.4/10 star rating. The movie is rated R for drug use and profanity. Yea for R rated library movies?

And have I mentioned the NEW, DELUXE librarian action figure. I will be getting her next time I order from Archie McPhee.

And the new REX LIBRIS, librarian comic is out.

Next up: review of Desk Set, hopefully a better librarian movie

40 Year Old Man Who Can See Unicorns

I am so offended by everything about this 40 year old virgin movie. If I was one of those crazies who don’t believe in the constitution, I’d definitely demand this movie be banned.

I’m offended by people trying to make virgins have sex
I’m offended by 40 year old virgins.
I’m offended by the fact that once I left my comfortable suburbia and ventured into the city I couldn’t turn around without seeing the word “virgin” in mile high letters
I’m offended because I’ve heard/read the word “virgin” about a gazillion times in the last 2 weeks.
I’m offended by Steve Carell’s retarded mug
I’m even offended by the color orange on the billboards.

I can’t believe this movie exists. And mostly, I can’t believe it’s called the 40 year old virgin. They didn’t call “wedding crashers,” “people who go to weddings hoping to have sex with unsuspecting guests.” Even if you make a movie about a virgin, virgin doesn’t have to be in the title.

I don’t believe the government should step in and censor much of anything, but those billboards need to go. EDIT FOR CLARITY: In my world, when I'm queen they'll be gone. Because of my standards, not any sort of governing body of anyone besides me.--I pretty much believe in the argument that with any sort of media, you can turn off/ not read whatever offends you. I however, cannot ignore those giant orange billboards. That’s the whole point of billboards, to accost you with their messages. And when I have no choice but to pay attention, then shit goes down (or maybe I just throw a silent hissyfit)

I have not seen this movie, I have no idea what it’s about, but surely there’s a better title: Lame guy who rides a bike, Unsocialized Loser, and Freakshow, all come to mind.

The LA Times had good things to say about it this weekend, and so does IMDB, and the radio interviews I heard, so my chances don’t look good for just having this thing blow over

And everyone seems to be jumping on the bandwagon for some hot virgin action.

Basically, my point is this: I find it equally disturbing when strangers proclaim their virginity as when they talk about sex. I’m perfectly willing to have individual or small group conversations involving either subject. But when it becomes a massive media field show, it makes me want to cry. What the hell is wrong with America? Can’t it just keep its dirty (or is it clean?) laundry to itself??

Hawaii

Everyone's doing it

I haven't been on vacation since forever. And even my little trip I was planning to get to Berkeley this month isn't happening.

And my office is abuzz this morning because of this deal. In the end, after taxes you're only paying about $860 for air and hotel (and an i-pod shuffle).

This is why I need to get myself a damn boyfriend, because at this stage in my life, that is who I'm supposed to be vacationing with. (Not to mention that all my friends use their vacation time to vacation with significant others)

So if anyone wants to go on vacation with me, call me. If not, i'll be well on my way to spinster-librarianhood. And maybe in the future, for every vacation I don't take, I'll collect a cat.

Get your name in a book

Not an author? Get your name in a book anyway, for the right price.

The first amendment project is holding an auction. These authors are participating:

http://cgi3.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=auctioncause

(ok, so blogger won't let me use the "edit html page)

It's a good thing Ann M. Martin isn't on the list. That might cause me to go deeply into debt.

never second best

I’ve been meaning to blog about this for weeks, ever since I saw the commercial on the Disney Channel. Finally I have the inclination, and time.

You’ve all heard of Disney’s new Sky High movie. But I think the regular commercials don’t show the horror of it all.

Disney has this bowling for soup band in their back pocket. Why have I heard of bowling for soup I asked myself, and it turns out they do that 1985 song. They also do a cover of the bare necessities song, which is available for listening while playing neopets.

And in this movie they do a cover of I Melt with you. And Disney produced a video. “What’s wrong with this?” you ask. I love 80’s fluff, and I’m happy to have everyone exposed to it. And while I usually don’t pay a bit of attention to the lyrics, it is a love song. Love. And, as love is wont to do, it includes sex. Not bowling for soup though. The fact that 2 of the 3 “top results” from amazon are labeled “Explicit lyrics,” doesn’t stop them from disneyfying a legitimate love song.

Original: Making love to you was never second best
New: Being friends with you was never second best

I know they're Disney, but even they have some explaining to do. Someone has to hold them accountable. This is just as bad as when they take love songs, substitute the word "God" and pass it off as religious.

Now, the whole soundtrack is covers of mostly legit, grown up songs. I can only wonder what other horrors are hidden. Here's my 5 minutes of research list of objectionable things

And she was: she was taking off her dress--- can’t encourage that
Please, Please Please Let Me Get What I Want: Lord knows, it would be the first time—taking the lord’s name in vain
One thing leads to another—just the name alone is enough to send the PTC and friends into a tizzy
Voices Carry: he said shut up he said shut up---if people object to sponge bob saying it…
Through being cool: going to beat some butts… spank the pank who try to drive you nuts


I’m not sure how things work in music, but surely all of these cover albums that Disney keeps producing can’t be better than if they used the real songs from the real people. Or is it another form of extending their reach into every home in the world, hoping that people will forget about the old and only pay attention to their new.

bleh.

It’s finally over

After 3 days of wasted time, much stress, and the $9.30 the courthouse sucked out of me in food and internet fees, it’s finally over. This should net me with a profit of $21 and some change. I called in on tues night, and heard the magic words, group 4 has been dismissed. Just as I was about to celebrate, I remembered. I shouldn’t be celebrating, because I shouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place. I have nothing to celebrate. I have a lot of grievances with the jury system, with the courthouse, and the way things were organized for my particular case.

Now that it’s over I can tell you: It was double murder, gang related. The boy was up for the death penalty. Sucks for him, but really, he shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Sucks much more for my jury pool full of innocent people who were required to be at the courthouse for set periods of time and couldn’t leave. (how is this not imprisonment, I ask?)

Day 1 involved arriving at 7:30. 7:30!! Way too early. Watching the required propaganda video, filling out some form. And filling out another form that I was about to object to. It was a REQUIRED survey on which I had to write my name and juror ID. Oh my gosh, why are they allowed to make it required? And why do we have to sign our names? It was on how we got to court: Car, public transportation, if it was offered for free would you take a bus? (are they kidding? Girls like me DO NOT ride the bus into Compton. Why don’t they just ask me to leave my wallet unattended on the street)

And then we sit. Luckily I had massive amounts of reading to do. At 10 or so the judge, bailiff and lawyers all come down to the jury room. All of us are on the trial. We won’t fit into the courtroom, so they swear us in there. And we fill out a 20 page questionnaire. Which we’re supposed to return to the court room at 1:30. Massive time to kill. And even more trouble when we get to the room at 1:30, there’s not an orderly line, there’s just a mass. And for the entire time, no one orders anyone into a line, it’ s just a mob. So, 20 at a time we go into the courtroom, herded like cattle, and they give us a time to return. This whole process takes like a million years, and it seems like longer because there are so many people around, accidentally brushing against each other and the AC appears to not be working.

So, I return on my appointed day and time. And after 3 hrs of waiting I’m given another time to return. And on 3rd day I’m supposed to return, the court calls me and gives me another day.

And I go on that day, waste another 4 hrs (plus travel), and they give us a phone number to call to see if we have to go back in. The group before me had to go. And finally, I was dismissed.

Yes, jury duty is my civic duty, and I wouldn’t mind serving on a reasonably lengthed trial that doesn’t start at the end of one semester (With a big paper due) and end at the start of a new semester (where both my professors are new to me, and I’m taking an all online class for the first time and I don’t really know how I’m going to take to it). But, I think everyone has a larger civic duty to overhaul the jury duty system again. Like I said before, absolutely nothing I did (Besides buy food) couldn’t have been done remotely. What I’m saying now is that it SHOULD be done remotely. And on this issue alone, I will win governorship, when I decide to run. (Which is good because there aren’t enough teachers and librarians in California to support me alone). It’s really too bad this blog can’t be erased forever, because it’ll really hold me back when the press gets wind.

Also, when you’re hiring the person to run the jury room, the one who has to pronounce all the names for roll call, you should really hire people who can speak clear English. It’s nice that they let people who butcher the language have well paid civil service jobs. But maybe they should take the public into account.

Madagascar

I’m bored, and I forgot my book today. So I’ll just blog until I can skip out to the library during lunch.

I saw Madagascar on Monday. It was the first CG movie that I really liked the looks of. And it didn’t disappoint. I especially liked it because we all learn a valuable lesson and it all works out okay (mostly) in the end. And I even learned a new animal.

I don’t usually like the way CG looks. Maybe I’m old fashioned, or maybe I’m just lame. Kenny told me the reason I like the way Madagascar looks is because it’s intentionally it’s own brand of cartoony, not trying to be real, and not trying to be all hi-tech. Maybe that’s it. They did a good job with the fur textures. I remember watching some show that said hair and fur was a big problem in the past and they’re constantly working to get it better. And I really liked the way the animals moved. They had some spring to them. I don’t really know any of the words that describe motion, so I won’t even bother trying. But it was fun to watch.

I was very much shocked to find that the super cute bush baby from the commercial is not a referred to as a busy baby, as a lemur. Some quick research proves that I’m wrong, and bush babies can be called lemurs. But that’s totally uncool. The public needs to know what bush babies are. Also, I think the writers confused lemurs with lemmings, based on the groupthink attitude of the animals. (hmmm. Word recognizes groupthink as a word, but not uncool)

And I learned a new animal. The Fossa. Based on the movie, it’s exactly like a hyena, only not one. It’s native to Madagascar, hyenas aren’t. Also, it was totally cute watching the king lemur keep saying “fossa.” It’s a much cooler word.

Lesson learned: Home is where you are, the grass is not greener on the other side, but anywhere can be home as long as you have friends.
Lesson 2: I need to get a bush baby.
Lesson 3: Don’t do a Google image search for bushbaby at work. Even with the filter on, you get porn. bush baby is okay.

The Girls Next Door

I love the reality TV, and E! seems to have outdone themselves. The Girls Next Door is a show that follows 3 of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends around the mansion and films their daily lives. The show premiered on Sunday, and they haven’t stopped playing it.

There’s the “#1 girlfriend” who seems to live in Hef’s suite, Holly. She’s 25. She has 3 (I think) dogs, including 1 super fluffy retarded thing. She doesn’t do much that’s particularly notable, but she has been around the longest, so she knows how things go.

Then there’s the youngest girl, Kendra, she’s 20. She eerily reminds me of my cousin, physically and her speech patterns. She’s into fitness, and doesn’t seem to like being all dolled up and girly. Although, we see in the show, she’s always late. Her room is pretty unremarkable, has some fitness equipment, and a dog.

And there’s Bridget, still less than half Hef’s age at 31. In an alternate bizarro universe, she is the bizarro me. Her room is painted pink. The show is casting her as the smart one, and she’s in the process of getting a masters. So the first shot we see of her is at her computer, with a hello kitty mouse pad. She has various Hello Kitty accessories strewn about, pillows, alarm clock, lamp, you know the vibrator is there, somewhere. And she has the most retarded cat in all the universe! It seems to be a black Persian, but never in my life have I seen a grumpier, fluffier cat. It doesn’t seem to do much, it probably has too much fur to move, so it just sits with a sour expression on. I must get myself a cat like that. It makes that grumpy squelch cat look like a hairless sphynx.

And let’s not forget 79 years young Hef. I guess he’s old and needs a special diet, so he takes his own food along to restaurants.

Wow, what a life these people lead. Hef actually has a job. But the girls do their own thing in between very important trips to the salon. Sometimes their own thing is school, and sometimes it’s getting dressed in snowbunny outfits and going ice skating.

The best part of all: Hef keeps a pink Peeps Bunny pillow on his bed. The same $10 thing from Target that I have. Peeps bunny, Playboy bunny, same thing, right?

You should really watch the show. See how the other half lives.

That’s it

There’s no hope for me. I’m a hopeless loser who doesn’t have the ability to do dynamic, exciting or interesting things. In fact, I don’t even have the drive to comment to strangers about things.
So, congrats to Kenny, who has joined Lydia in boingboing land.

In other news, I tried to stay away from the Daily Breeze, but I just can’t.

If you want to be creeped out, read this:

Strangers don PJs, affectionate attitude for Cuddle Party

There's just one more exercise before open cuddling can begin.

Schwartz tells the group to get on all fours and pretend they are cows. He encourages them to "moo" and form a close-knit herd. Then he tells everyone to tip over, "like cows when you tip them."

"This is how we trick you into cuddling," he says. "Have fun, relax and welcome to Cuddle Party."

Personally, I think an orgy sounds much less disturbing, and much more normal.

Introductions

Kenny, meet Ryan. Ryan, meet Kenny

I’ve always thought that you should meet, but since I never have parties, or plan events, that hasn’t happened. But, since your blogs know each other, so should you.

Last week while I was playing with Talk Digger (a meta search engine for blogs—it’s kinda fun, but when the only links you have are people you know, it gets less fun pretty quickly.) I came across this piece o’ crap site: LA Blogs. And there are just random blogs listed along the side. And in the same group are Kenny and Ryan’s blogs. I’m not quite sure how they organize the list (it’s likely they don’t organize it). So, there you go.

You are the only people I know who have actually stated that reading the Harry Potter books will ruin the movies.

Just because Ryan doesn’t blog much, doesn’t make him a bad person

What everyone should know about blog depression

A Public Service

Google-licious

Google is like the funnest toy around. Even better than chuzzle, sometimes.

Last night I was reading the tvguide online and for some reason google ads lead me to Worship Dancewear

Who knew that was even a category?!

And today, I read this story about them needing a new chef. No, they don't post an ad on craigslist, or the newspaper. They send a press release. Maybe one day I can be a google librarian, until then, I'll just marvel.

Bloggers Cautioned About Being Copy Cats

I'm not sure this article says anything new. But I really like the part below:

"She said that 'as far as I'm concerned, all pictures on the Internet are in the public domain,'" he recollected. "I told her that that was an interesting opinion, however, I wouldn't recommend you trying to test that theory in court."

Should Barbie be a librarian?

Kids and parents vote

poll results

Turns out kids like librarians more. I wonder if there was some sort of organized architect effort to skew the adult votes, because it does seem like an awfully large win.

I need a librarian Barbie. I may die without one. Maybe I'll make my own. Because Giles and Nancy Pearl are lonely.

AIM Fight

Have you seen this?

I don't use AIM much anymore, but if I did, and if I was 10 years younger, I might care about this new ranking system.

AIM FIGHT

Your score is the sum of the current number of people online who have you listed as a buddy, out to three degrees. This means the score is constantly changing, and the winner of the battle will constantly change with it.

I can see how this will cause many a hissy fit. And imagine if you make secondary screen names for specific purposes, like flirting online without the wife finding out, etc. The person on the other end can just aimfight you and find out that you're a loser with no friends, or you're not giving your main screen name... the possibilities are endless

I’m embarrassed

I’m embarrassed to be American, I’m embarrassed to be Californian. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this embarrassed, including the “freedom fries” incident.

I was supposed to go back to jury duty today. I had my time scheduled, and I could finally be rid of this disaster for at least another year. And they call this morning. They don’t want to see me today. They want to see me Thurs at 10:30. Keep in mind that my week for jury duty was July 18. If my favorite person who can’t give me legal advice wasn’t in Hawaii, he’d probably be receiving a frantic email about what the hell I can do with these people.

People who don’t value quality or efficiency would say, at least they called you to reschedule, and didn’t make you drive down again only to find out that you have to come back.

That’s what they want you to think, I say. Be happy with the small things so you don’t realize how horrible inefficient the whole system is. Everything I’ve done so far, all 14 hours I’ve spent at the court (plus travel time) could have been done remotely. Phone, fax, email, mail, courier pigeon etc. They’ve almost made efiling of taxes mandatory. So, lets get on the ball people!

Today was supposed to be the day I’d be interviewed by the lawyers, actual face to face communication. But no, the nightmare drags on.

As much as I hate politics, I realize the world would be a much better place with me in power. I may have to do something about it. It may be my next project, after I get a real job.

Dude, Kenny

No offense, but your girlfriend works for The Man.

Somehow I've managed not to blog about the most significant source of strife in my life lately. They’ve installed red light cameras at the retarded intersection right by my house. Not a reasonable intersection, but the super retarded one that has a light and then 4 car lengths later has another light.

I have a feeling this will mean bad things for me. And it unfairly takes it’s toll on people in the neighborhood who have to pass the damn thing multiple times a day. I need to move before I lose my license.

So, the Daily Breeze goes out and finds the one person in the whole city who thinks this is a good idea, and puts him in the paper.

Also, they refuse to acknowledge that the cameras are a ploy to bring money into a poor city. My parents have lived in the house for 27 years. And to their knowledge, there has never been an accident caused by someone running a red light. There have been 3 (as far as I know) involving people running the curb and crashing into various parts of the church. But red lights don’t cause that, retarded and drunk drivers do.

I used to like the Daily Breeze. I like local restaurant reviews, I like local news…Sometimes I even read John Bogert’s column, even though I hate him and he never has anything new or interesting to say. But, I’m over it. The Daily Breeze, and the toeing the party line is too much for me. I’d write a letter to the editor, but in a small town paper, having my name connected to resistance to authority could be a problem.

Daily Breeze you are my new enemy. I am now on the side of the Rolling Hills AMC theater which refuses to advertise in the paper, despite some public outcry. (the community supports the theater by paying small fortunes to go see the latest piece of crap, the least the theater should do is publish their show times in the paper so the people can easily find out when the crap is playing)

In other news, the red light camera business seems highly profitable. Maybe I should look into it.

We are the web

From Wired
a history of the internet

A simple extrapolation suggests that in the near future, everyone alive will (on average) write a song, author a book, make a video, craft a weblog, and code a program. This idea is less outrageous than the notion 150 years ago that someday everyone would write a letter or take a photograph.

Low-Carb Pioneer Atkins Files Chapter 11

HA HA HA!

That's what they get for trying to sell us inferior food at inflated prices.