Ultimate Ketel One Vodka Cocktail Guide

My house was vacated for a few hours last night, so I had a glass of wine, and sat down with my Ultimate Ketel One Vodka Cocktail Guide on DVD. Apparently you can order it free from their horribly flashed website (I don’t recommend it, I got about 2 clicks and left)

I got my DVD as part of a box set also containing a bottle of Ketel One and a metal shaker. The shaker turned out to be better than I thought it would be. The DVD turned out to be much worse.

I’m no DVD connoisseur, but I’ve always been able to, and am trying to even more for my career, pick out poorly designed things and suggest ways to make them more user friendly. There are 4 chapters on the main page, with no play all button.

Ch 1. Introduction. Not too bad, given by the son of the head of Ketel One, who will eventually inherit the company. Short, almost painless. Ketel One is so named because of the original copper still in use today. Bizarrely, the K1 guy sounds and looks more like a New York Mobster than some privileged Dutch guy.

Ch 3. Probably the best chapter, some guy who has actual knowledge and a pleasant demeanor giving lessons on vodka tasting. Even though you’re supposed to drink vodka ice cold, when tasting, taste at room temperature because it gives off the most flavor. When sniffing, don’t stick your nose way in like with wine, smell from the top of the glass.

Ch. 4. Maybe the lamest, but at least the shortest. The Ketel One head guy invites us all to visit the factory next time we’re in the Netherlands.

And last, and most painful, Ch. 2. Bar setup and cocktails. There are about 10 or so segments in the menu. And no option to play all. And the cursor doesn’t automatically move to the next segment so you can just click play.

Technical problems aside, the cocktail segment is BORING. The guy may be some kind of hot shot mixologist, but he’s obviously not an actor with any kind of charisma and he’s obviously not reading cue cards, and he didn’t bother to memorize lines. He just sort of “umm”s and “cool”s and “fun”s his way through the dialogue. The one useful thing the guy does is show us how to make the citrus twist things. But even that was way more laborious and long and unfun that it should have been. And it’s not like he’s showing complicated drinks. All the drink recipes are included in the DVD booklet. And really my life would have been much better off, skipping that whole segment and spending 30 seconds looking at the booklet.

This criticizm comes from a girl who counts Food Network as one of her favorite channels. It COULD be so good, the product is quality, but the guy just fails. I love stories that connect food to emotion or memories or anything of interest. I wholeheartedly recommend Under the Tuscan Sun (the book) for being just that. Even though it makes me gag I like when Rachel Ray tells some story about her “sweetie” cooking for her, or her crazy aunt whoever. Even Emeril, who I hate, adds interest to his cocktails by telling a story about this or the other thing. Are they just more boring over in the Netherlands, and find this boringness acceptable?

I needed a much bigger glass of wine than the one I was drinking to enjoy the DVD.