In like a lamb, out like a lamb

Christmas came and went with a whimper. The Christmas spirit wasn’t with me this year, despite listening to nothing but Christmas music since Thanksgiving. Yes, I know. I’m a big jerk and should be thankful for the food on my table and the roof over my head, and making more than 5 cents a day. But, humbug. I should feel that way every day, not just Christmas. So what makes Christmas special?

It always feels like Christmas for me. My mom decorates like a crazy woman. And the tree is put up, and the ornaments come out. And there are special places in my heart for some of those old things. It was a sad day for me 2 years ago when I had to throw out my milkbone/ pom pom dog ornament. And my mom seems to hate the wooden pig we painted in 4th grade (the Charlotte’s Web year), but I love that little guy to death. And not seeing him makes me sad. My cousin was in my class that year, but this year we didn’t even stop by my aunt and uncle’s house to see their pig.

Usually we have Christmas breakfast at our house. It made sense when we were kids and all the presents were at home. And we kept it up, after the truckloads of toys stopped coming. But, because of the stupid kitchen there wasn’t even breakfast. And my sister and I seemed to be the only ones who did any shopping this year. I did come out of it all with a handful of cash and gift cards. But, bah, humbug. I want presents. I want wrapping paper and bows and the joy of surprise. I know my parents were busy with the kitchen, and I know my grandparents are getting old. But, I feel like no one made any effort this year. I like buying presents (except for boys, they just don’t like anything good), it’s satisfying finding the right present for the right person. The older I get, and the more I learn, the less wonder there is in my life. Some days you just want it. Where’s my Christmas Dinosaur? Where’s my miracle on 34th street?

Thankfully, my sister saved Christmas with a giant box of Hello Kitty DVDs. More on those later. We also watched some bizarre anime about hot girl santas with a toy reindeer named Pablo that can turn into a real reindeer when people believe.

This is the first year I’m looking forward to New Year’s Eve more than Christmas.