Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-lot

Bleh. I'd heard of the movie. I saw the toys in the ads, and much to my delight it was on the disney channel this weekend. I was on my way to a play, so i stuck a tape in and made the effort to record it. and i'll never have those 2 hrs of my life back.

first, the computer animation made my eyes hurt. there were way too few frames per whatever amount of time they measure frames in, or however that works. it was chopy. and then the little star friend had some kind of horrible trail, like when you turn the trail of your mouse on, only psychedelic. bleh. i'm no expert on animation, and i generally don't like that computer done crap. but this was horrid, and my dad agreed.

the story is that grumpy bear is a bad mechanic, and he always makes rides for the care bear fair that fall apart... cute and adorable so far.. but funshine bear laughs a little to hard when his carousel spins off its axis and grumpy gets even grumpier. funshine says he was just trying to cheer grumpy up, but grumpy says, if you can't tell the difference between when to laugh and when to console or something then maybe he shouldn't be in care-a-lot. so funshine runs away and magically finds joke-a-lot where "serious" is a forbidden word.

now, i am rather familiar with care bears. and i know that is not the way care bears act. they are wise, they are comforting, they help kids with their feelings. they are NOT the kids themselves. they don't do crap like run away from home, they stop kids from running away in the first place! they help those kids at camp who aren't good at anything. and that boy with the magic evil book. and the star friends are friends. they're not dogs, and they don't lick your face. yuck! so, 10 mins into the movie i've decided i reject the premise, and it doesn't get any better from there.
there was one gem that stopped me from burning my vcr. and it's not even funny now that i think about it. but funshine is giving a speech to the joke-a-lot crowd, because they've (wrongly) crowned him king. and he starts with the "boy are my arms tired" joke.. and then promises as king they'll be a something in every something and "a chicken joke in every pot" ahhhh, funshine bear...

so everyone learns a lesson in the end and it all turns out alright.

i may need to buy the real care bear movies on dvd just to get the bad taste out of my mouth, or maybe i'll just watch them on video to cleanse my vcr.