I do my little turn on the catwalk

I’m conceited, often. And sometimes bitchy. By mostly, I’m supremely confident in my ability to do a large number of things competently. And since my personal standards are higher than most of the standards used to judge me, I usually come out on top. Through years of experience, I’ve gotten to the point this semester where I spend about 1-2 days actually writing out my assignments. This is significantly less than the 1 week I used to need to do good work.

But this conceit is not without it’s price. I spend my days doing things I already know how to do, and just get better. So, when something new comes along, I’m ill prepared for learning. Take cataloging, for example. 1. It turns out I hate it. 2. It’s very much different than writing a paper. 3. The professor likes to not give a straight answer when you ask if something is right…. This all leads up to my failing my last assignment. The last thing I failed was my first driving test. Everyone told me in advance that "everyone" fails their first driving test (I’d actually like to see the statistics on that). But I clearly remember saying, “I don’t fail,” like one of those kids on a Disney Channel show before they learn that no one is perfect, and you shouldn’t try to be. That was awful. But, currently my level of conceit doesn’t allow me to care. Whatever, I failed a cataloging assignment. It’s only 10% of the grade. My grades are really good. I can get a B in the class if I try, and I’d probably be happy with a C+ if I don’t try very much. But I did a significant amount of work on the next assignment last night, and it really freaked me out how much I had to second guess everything.

Is this how the other half lives?? Always questioning their own judgment. Afraid to make a decision, because it might be wrong. Worried about things beyond their control. Trying twice as hard as I do for half the results?

The other thing about my classmates is that they really like to panic. That must be it, because why else would they do it all the time? I had a web page due last week, because everyone panicked so much, the due date got pushed to Friday. Have I started? Barely. This is not a html class. There’s barely more required than a word document with live links. We’re not graded on our tech abilities, we’re graded on the content. I actually really enjoy useful assignments like this, and I’m good at them. But, all this frenzy made me apathetic. Whatever, a webpage, that’s so mid 90s, been there, done that and had time for a nap. Just don’t call me on Friday, I’ll be busy.