Eye for an Eye

Eye for an Eye (warning: crappy website)

This show takes syndicated court reality shows to a new level. I have to say that every second I spend watching it makes me more embarrassed. But I can’t stop.

The “judge” calls himself Extreme Akim, and that’s what the audience chants before and after each commercial break. He and his bat of justice, along with the motley crew, help bad people solve their problems. Kato Kaeiln does commentary, and Sugar Ray provides security.

I’ve been watching this show sometimes, during the GH commercial breaks since I cut my work hours in January. I’ve seen a good handful of shows. And up until today, it was quite clear that everyone involved in the show was a bad person. And NO ONE ever learns a lesson, or concedes that maybe they were in the wrong.

There have been bitchy neighbors, who were sentenced to throw a house party and ruin the offending neighbor’s house.

There was a fried chicken dispute that ended with the cheater being “tarred” with syrup and feathered on the street corner.

There was a scuffle about whose cat peed in the car, so they did a dna test, and found out both cats had. So Akim sent both women (wearing motorcycle helmets) through the carwash in the convertible (top down, of course)

There were the parents who wouldn’t stop bickering. No matter what it was, no matter how small the issue, so he tied them together, like a 3 legged race, and made them perform a series of tasks including making the girl lunch and buying and assembling a bike. Not for one second could they stop bickering for the sake of that poor girl. She is going to be in therapy for years.

Often, instead of issuing a ruling, because both people are just awful and incapable of reason, they just duke it out in the boxing ring.

But today there was one rational person. Not happy with real law, this lady took her crazy ex-husband on the show. Today’s show was disappointing for 2 reasons. 1. There was a clear right and wrong, with the right being with the good person. 2. The nicest, worst dominatrix ever was on. Yes, as punishment for trying to control his ex wife’s life, threatening her current boy friend with a gun etc., Akim made the asshole see a dominatrix. Actually, they scheduled her to interrupt his lunch at a public restaurant. She put a chain around his neck, made him wear only a diaper, made him eat dog food and beg, roll over, etc. But the guy continued to be an ass. He was so full of his jerky self, and not one bit of her whipping the sass out of him. She made him beg, and thank her for the dog food. But just because the words came out of his mouth doesn’t mean crap. That guy didn’t learn a lesson at all. He was embarrassed on tv, but he wasn’t humbled. And really, how many people watch this show? The whole thing left me very unsatisfied. I’m going to go look at dominatrix porn now.