Cucurbita pepo

According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica the names pumpkin and squash are applied inconsistently. But the pumpkin is a type of squash, and squash is a type of gourd.

I’ve tried a number of squash, and pumpkin is, by far, the least interesting when unseasoned. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying plain, cooked pumpkin is pretty gross. And raw pumpkin is so disgusting I can’t believe someone would ever thing to make it into something as fabulous as a dessert. Add some spices and a bit of sugar, though, and pumpkin is a force to be reckoned with. My mom makes a kick ass zucchini bread, but pumpkin kicks more ass.

Since I have no scientific knowledge of food, I must conclude that pumpkin + spices causes some kind of magical reaction that turns into scrumptious. Pumpkins are shrouded in mystery. They are supposed to scare off evil spirits, or something. They’re not very good businessmen though.

Pumpkin has the market cornered on false, false-scarcity. And for no reason at all. Girl Scouts understand false scarcity, their cookies can command such ridiculous prices because they’re only available a few weeks a year, even though they could be made and sold year round. Pumpkin IS available year round, often times not fresh, but if you wanted to, you could get it. And who would want fresh when canned is available? Year round. Reasonable priced, packaged to survive in your air raid shelter. Why should pumpkin only be associated with fall? Why not turkey and pumpkin pie for Easter? Memorial Day? Flag Day? Some days I feel like Libby’s is mocking me. “Ha, ha,” they say, “we make enough money during the fall that we don’t even bother with the rest of the seasons. Try to change us, bitch!” And I buy into it. I’m perfectly aware that the day I got my ice cream maker I could have marched out to the store, bought myself a can of pumpkin and started churning away. But I waited till fall, because that’s the thing to do. And, now I have no kitchen, and one giant pumpkin craving.

In even worse pumpkin news, Bols, seems to have manufactured a Pumpkin Smash Liqueur at one point, but doesn’t anymore. A prize to anyone who can procure it for me. It doesn’t seem that library school has made me much more able to find things.