ice cream making and ranting

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Let's make lots of money

there's so much good new reality tv, and it's just mocking me now that I'm back in school

I jumped on the Beauty and the Geek bandwagon one week late. But last night was pretty darn good. and it uses pet shop boys for the theme.

It's touted as being produced by Ashton Kutcher, although, apparently he's not going to appear on the show.

I missed the first episode which I imagine tells how the contestants got paired up and how the sleeping arrangements were made. So i've already filled the details in, in my head.

So, a handful of attractive, yet by no means spectacular women live in a house with and equal number of geeky men. Surprisingly, most of these men aren't hideous, they're just super geeky. One is president of the dukes of hazard fan club. One of the girls, in her confessional video said something like "if I hear one more thing about cars, or the dukes of hazard or video games I'm going to scream."

Each geek is permanantly paired with with a beauty. They sleep in the same bedroom, and at least one sleeps in the same bed. (how this got determined, i don't know). They compete in challenges separately, but as a team. Apparently, each week the geeks get a prissy topic and the beauties get a geeky topic, battle of the sexes style. This week it was car repair and massage. each team gets a massage book and a car book, and they're given time to study (and complain).

The girls have to change the oil and a tire. To do so they are given all the correct tools, and the very important pink midrif baring mechanic shirt with the name patch. The boys coach from the sidelines. I was rather impressed. I can't do that crap (although I've never tried).

The boys, however, are train wrecks. I mean really they're geekier than anyone I can possibly imagine. It's not like they're just smart, or a little maladjusted, they are seriously bizarre. Unlike regular reality shows that flash the chyron with name, occupation, and age. This show just flashes name and interesting fact. The two main freaks are the jewish looking one with giant lips "has never touched a girl" and the blondish, almost attractive, blank stare deer in the headlights "has never kissed a girl." Unfortunately we don't know anyone's age, but they're old enough to be on a reality show, which makes them too old for that kind of nonsense.

These two boys are by far the most freaked out by the whole massage thing. I was starting to believe that they thought girls had cooties or something and didn't want to touch them. Freaky large lipped guy's girl tried to massage him to give him an idea what he should be doing, and he freaked out. she barely touched him and he started feigning pain. oh no, you've hurt my shoulder, now i really can't massage. or maybe it was psychosomatic.

These boys were hilarious. A halfway decent massage is not hard to perform, assuming 1. you know what it's supposed to feel like 2. you're not afraid of/freaked out by/ disgusted with touching the person you're supposed to be massaging
Fufilling some writer's wet dream, the girls get into skimpy bikinis and blindfolds and the boys take turns massaging, and the one with the most votes at the end wins. And it turns out the same pair won the massage that won the car fixing. This means they get to choose the 2 teams that would compete in the Q&A round, one of them getting knocked out of the house.

and the Q&A comes. the girls answer the simpliest car questions ever and they each get their 3 right. Then the boys come out to answer the massage questions and they are clueless!
Q: "what is the roughly textured sponge..."
A: "massage rag?"
good gosh, the boy can't come up with the word loofah. and when the host says "loofah" it's like the boy has never heard of it. also missed were reflexology and shiatsu.

so, poor deer in the headlights boy and his girl get sent home, but not before a long teary sorority girl goodby. and apparently she started to like one of the geek boys in the house, and this was an epiphany for her. she likes a nice geek, instead of a hot loser jerk. I'm very disappointed because i like to watch the nerd boy get the girl. but apparently next week some geek makes the moves on some other girl, if you can believe the commercial.

It's gonna be good.

You know what's not good, though, is crying on tv. There is far too much crying on tv and I'm personally offended. Me and my imaginary children should not be subjected to so much crying. It sets a bad example and and encourages discontented behavior.

I'm getting ready to start my own foundation, PACT (people against crying on TV). I will write a form letter, and get a website so everyone can bombard the FCC with complaints.

You'll all help, right?

UPDATE: usually I like to keep my tv-ing and internet-ing separate, so I don't really read tv show sites. However, the WB website does have the ages of the contestants.

5 Comments:

  • At June 09, 2005 2:53 PM, Blogger Zack said…

    Why in the world would you expect these boys to know what loofahs are? Except, obviously, that they were given books which presumably contained this information. But when did you learn what a loofah was? Was the information beamed into your brain? Because guys neither seek that information nor congregate in places where that information is distributed. Guys learn the word "loofah" the first time their girlfriend or sister says the word "loofah."

    Also, if reflexology is a word, it shouldn't be. Even if I knew what reflexology was, I would refuse to embarass the English language in public by answering correctly a question related to it.

     
  • At June 09, 2005 3:42 PM, Blogger C said…

    1. the massage book was probably fewer than 100 pages and full of pictures. (the car book the girls had to read was probably over 300 pgs and not so full of shiny pictures).
    2. Just because YOU can't come up with the word loofah, doesn't mean it's not common knowledge. or common mis-knowledge.

    I'm not entirely sure when the word loofah entered my conciousness, but I know the first time i looked up the word loofah was after a run in with a bath and body works employee. i asked for one of those "shower puff things" that you put soap on, and she said "a loofah" and i said "you know the net ones" and she said "a loofah" and i let her take me to the product, which was indeed a shower puff thing and not a loofah, because a loofah isn't plastic.
    3. don't worry, I have verified that you have, indeed, kissed a girl, you don't fall in league with these geeks

     
  • At June 09, 2005 9:54 PM, Blogger Kenny said…

    I grew up with what was possibly a loofah but then again possibly a shower poof in my house for years without ever hearing the word loofah. Eventually I picked up on it after reading it somewhere and hearing it somewhere else and gradually piecing it together from context clues. Or maybe I saw a movie with a loofah. I don't know. Until just this moment I didn't know there was a difference between a loofah and a shower poof (puff?).

     
  • At June 10, 2005 10:43 AM, Blogger Sarah the Hussy said…

    I don't like loofahs. Much prefer the poof. I think I learned the word "loofah" in... probably fifth or sixth grade.

     
  • At December 02, 2009 11:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hello !.
    You re, I guess , probably curious to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
    There is no initial capital needed You may begin to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

    AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
    The firm incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

    It is based in Panama with affiliates around the world.
    Do you want to become an affluent person?
    That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

    I feel good, I started to get income with the help of this company,
    and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to select a proper partner who uses your savings in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
    I make 2G daily, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
    It`s easy to join , just click this link http://ygixiqolop.arcadepages.com/udokig.html
    and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to get rid of nastiness of the life

     

Post a Comment

<< Home