Let's make lots of money

there's so much good new reality tv, and it's just mocking me now that I'm back in school

I jumped on the Beauty and the Geek bandwagon one week late. But last night was pretty darn good. and it uses pet shop boys for the theme.

It's touted as being produced by Ashton Kutcher, although, apparently he's not going to appear on the show.

I missed the first episode which I imagine tells how the contestants got paired up and how the sleeping arrangements were made. So i've already filled the details in, in my head.

So, a handful of attractive, yet by no means spectacular women live in a house with and equal number of geeky men. Surprisingly, most of these men aren't hideous, they're just super geeky. One is president of the dukes of hazard fan club. One of the girls, in her confessional video said something like "if I hear one more thing about cars, or the dukes of hazard or video games I'm going to scream."

Each geek is permanantly paired with with a beauty. They sleep in the same bedroom, and at least one sleeps in the same bed. (how this got determined, i don't know). They compete in challenges separately, but as a team. Apparently, each week the geeks get a prissy topic and the beauties get a geeky topic, battle of the sexes style. This week it was car repair and massage. each team gets a massage book and a car book, and they're given time to study (and complain).

The girls have to change the oil and a tire. To do so they are given all the correct tools, and the very important pink midrif baring mechanic shirt with the name patch. The boys coach from the sidelines. I was rather impressed. I can't do that crap (although I've never tried).

The boys, however, are train wrecks. I mean really they're geekier than anyone I can possibly imagine. It's not like they're just smart, or a little maladjusted, they are seriously bizarre. Unlike regular reality shows that flash the chyron with name, occupation, and age. This show just flashes name and interesting fact. The two main freaks are the jewish looking one with giant lips "has never touched a girl" and the blondish, almost attractive, blank stare deer in the headlights "has never kissed a girl." Unfortunately we don't know anyone's age, but they're old enough to be on a reality show, which makes them too old for that kind of nonsense.

These two boys are by far the most freaked out by the whole massage thing. I was starting to believe that they thought girls had cooties or something and didn't want to touch them. Freaky large lipped guy's girl tried to massage him to give him an idea what he should be doing, and he freaked out. she barely touched him and he started feigning pain. oh no, you've hurt my shoulder, now i really can't massage. or maybe it was psychosomatic.

These boys were hilarious. A halfway decent massage is not hard to perform, assuming 1. you know what it's supposed to feel like 2. you're not afraid of/freaked out by/ disgusted with touching the person you're supposed to be massaging
Fufilling some writer's wet dream, the girls get into skimpy bikinis and blindfolds and the boys take turns massaging, and the one with the most votes at the end wins. And it turns out the same pair won the massage that won the car fixing. This means they get to choose the 2 teams that would compete in the Q&A round, one of them getting knocked out of the house.

and the Q&A comes. the girls answer the simpliest car questions ever and they each get their 3 right. Then the boys come out to answer the massage questions and they are clueless!
Q: "what is the roughly textured sponge..."
A: "massage rag?"
good gosh, the boy can't come up with the word loofah. and when the host says "loofah" it's like the boy has never heard of it. also missed were reflexology and shiatsu.

so, poor deer in the headlights boy and his girl get sent home, but not before a long teary sorority girl goodby. and apparently she started to like one of the geek boys in the house, and this was an epiphany for her. she likes a nice geek, instead of a hot loser jerk. I'm very disappointed because i like to watch the nerd boy get the girl. but apparently next week some geek makes the moves on some other girl, if you can believe the commercial.

It's gonna be good.

You know what's not good, though, is crying on tv. There is far too much crying on tv and I'm personally offended. Me and my imaginary children should not be subjected to so much crying. It sets a bad example and and encourages discontented behavior.

I'm getting ready to start my own foundation, PACT (people against crying on TV). I will write a form letter, and get a website so everyone can bombard the FCC with complaints.

You'll all help, right?

UPDATE: usually I like to keep my tv-ing and internet-ing separate, so I don't really read tv show sites. However, the WB website does have the ages of the contestants.