another "I'm getting old"story

Yesterday I was kinda in a weird mood anyway. And I had no energy. At one
point during my belly-dancing class, I was sorta sitting there with my head
down waiting for the class to start, while all the other girls were
chatting and jingling. I felt just like that little zoloft guy. Tired, sad,
isolated from my peers, not really the best mood to be in. Of course,
thinking about the sad zoloft guy made me happy.

I've been trying to read this stupid Killer Angels book. And i just can't
concentrate on it. The most success I've had is at work in like 15 min
increments. And yesterday I went to the library to kill some time and try
to read this book. And I gave up after 40 mins, and tried to read
Cosmopolitan instead.

I've never had a love-love relationship with cosmo. near the end of my
subscription, sr year, it was a hate-hate relationship. and most of the
time in the middle it's somewhere between love-hate and love-mild dislike.But I picked up the issue anyway, thinking that if I couldn't concentrate, some crap like cosmo would be something I could tolerate. Oh boy, was I wrong.

At first I started just turning the pages, looking at the pictures. There
was a cool ad for l'oreal, or some kind of cosmetics, involving apples
covered in makeup or something. and then the words started. Bleh. I went
into this knowing that Cosmo hasn't had original content since dinosaurs
roamed the earth. But I was hoping for something to at least amuse me.

It started ok, with the fashion page with some pink jackets and frilly
things, but the next page was "bohemian" which I think, maybe, means ugly. so cosmo fashion isnt' my thing.

then there's the cosmo version of "say anything" where people write in their embarassing moments. it made me sad for humanity.

then there was the pull quote, that i didn't bother reading the rest of
that said 43% of men had fooled around with women who were engaged to other people. 43%? I don't even know anyone who's engaged. Everyone is married but me. Even cheaters!

then there was the list of 100 thing to do with your boyfriend, or ways to
be romantic or whatever. the list is always the same, only the title
changes. "we write love notes to eachother" bleah "i pack my boyfriend a
bag lunch with peanut butter sandwiches, juice boxes and cookies" ha, i bet his little work friends give him so much crap about that. i couldn't read
the whole list, it was like 3 pages of text. these ideas were so dull i
couldn't even believe it. The only one I liked went something like this "my
boyfriend is a soldier and we can't always see or call eachother, so we
have mail sex. we draw dirty stick figures and send them to each other" At
least that's a little different.

I skimmed the 2 pg article on condoms. I was amused that all the graphics
and tables were pink and purple. If I wanted an article about condoms, this
one contained actual facts.

The last straw was the next article about "NEW" sex positions. For goodness
sake, I don't know how many Puritain missionaries they think read Cosmo, but I'd bet the numbers are pretty low. Is it possible to sue? If they're suing splenda for false advertising, certainly cosmo is a worse offender. There's nothing new about any of the stuff they've published, certainly for the last 10 yrs, probably ever. That was the last straw. I couldn't even make it to the quiz.

I no longer read Cosmo. Am I too old?Am I too jaded.? God bless them for their past, pushing the envelope with birth control advocacy and all. But I'm way over Cosmo. I don't know what the deal is. And now, what magazines are there for me to read? I could try with the hardcore fashion ones again. But I don't know if I'm into that. And I'm still too young for the magazines that my mom reads, especially that God awful Ladies Home Journal, also I may be of the wrong political persuasion. I don't care about celebrity gossip, so that genere is out. I don't care about fitness, cars, science, dolls, photography or electronics. The only magazine I really like is Saveur. I'm going to have to renew my subscription when my free one runs out. But not all food magazines are good. I guess, when I start joining library associations I can read their magazines. They're not too bad.

So that's it, I can't read books, I can't read magazines. I'm just going to have to watch only Jem DVDs for the rest of my life. I ended netflix this week. Hello Killy Becomes a Princess is sitting at home waiting for me, and that's it. *sigh*