ice cream making and ranting

Friday, September 23, 2005

Shecky’s Girls Night Out

Shecky’s


Where to start? I decided to take a nap instead of jetting down to the area early. This meant I got stuck in some traffic. I was stuck behind this little sports car for like 15 mins. And every time we came to a complete stop, the couple inside would kiss. This was good for them, passed the time very pleasantly. But I was annoyed. And it kept my lane moving even slower.

I was somehow under the impression that Shecky’s was a sample sale and there’d be tons of nice, expensive stuff and cut rate prices. (I’m sure that’s my own fault and not Shecky’s) Turns out, it’s more of a massive boutique, or bizarro craft fair. It was cool, but not as good as I expected. And not really worth the $40 in admission and parking I paid.

I arrived just after 5, and the doors, and my friends, hadn’t quite arrived yet. Immediately a panic swept over me, “oh my gosh, too many women, the estrogen is choking me.” Never in my life had I seen so many shiny purses all in one place. I was all alone in a sea of women, who might claw my eyes out for the last pair of earrings. But then, one of the hot guy workers wandered by offering lavender scented cold towels (cold towels, I’ve seen hot towels, but cold?). I decided I could hold my own in the crowd. And the check in line wasn’t unpleasant. I got myself a goodie bag (more on that later) and an entire complimentary cup full of stoli vodka (with a splash of Midori) played a game of dig dug on the joystick thing you plug into your tv and relaxed. (I don’t know much about video games, but I do have Dig Dug for my Atari, and I have to say, my 20some year old Atari joystick is more responsive than the thing I was using. Although, playing Dig Dug gave me a lot of joy, I might buy one anyway.)

Midori, is a fantastic sponsor, they also gave lovely Midori colored glowstick bracelets. Amstel light, (the other alcohol based sponsor) only offered hot guys roaming the room offering you beer. I’ve never tried Amstel light, but I generally believe that abstaining from things with “light” in the name is the way to go.

bathroom around 9pm, full of empty bottles and disgarded speigel catalogs



As you may well know, my favorite shoes for the last 2 years have been my Steve Madden kitten heel flip flops. However, as sponsors, they were rather disappointing. I didn’t win any free shoes.

And then there was the boutique where either the designers, or the designer/manufacturers were selling their wares. There was one girl selling decent, and retarded knit caps, that half my friends could make. I forgot to take a picture of the one with the dinosaur (retarded not good). And there was also the ballerina tulle wearing girl with her super-expensive I’ve-sewn-a-shaped-piece-of-felt-onto-a-classic-girl-shirt-buy-me-for-$65 booth. And not only were they expensive, but Beth makes better shirts than that in her sleep. In general all the clothing was not my style, and except for the $5 pantaloons booth (I somehow managed to not buy them). There wasn’t anything I really wanted except the one shirt that didn’t come in my size and the BEST THING EVER.

So there was this little Honduran gay man wearing a skirt, tank and super tiny tie. http://www.dmerlincastell.com/ (the website is crap (read: flashed), and I can’t find my thing on it, but the “about” page is pretty good. “My name is Merlin, and I am a magician,” he says. And really, I’ve never met a little Honduran gay man wearing a skirt before, so I’m inclined to trust him, since I have no reason not to trust him. And he makes wonderful brocade things (and horrible shapeless knit things). He makes “corset jackets.” They are not for “going to the gym” they are for “walking like this, like a runway” (and he postures like only a gay man could). So there’s a burgundy/ gold thing, he says it’s based on 12th century design. And really, it’s amazing. I try on the large, and I can’t really raise my arms all the way, so I tell him it’s too small, and he says “no, it’s too big, try on a medium, it’s supposed to fit like a corset,” and after protesting, he dresses me in the medium, ties the ties, and while it’s not so easy to breathe, I look amazing, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever worn, ever. I can’t raise my arms any higher than my chest, but wearing a thing like that men will fight each other to lift things for me. I think if I’d have done my hair, the sight of me in the mirror wearing that thing would have been too much for me to resist. Practicality be damned! I don’t need to breathe, I can hire someone to do that for me. I don’t have a picture of me wearing it. I did not want to offend the man who makes such amazing stuff.

I got my make up done by the crappiest girl at the makeup designory booth I had to try it, because designory is not a word, yet they’re allowed a .edu domain. They were selling pretty decently priced palettes, but my girl put my make up on without telling me what she was doing, what colors she was using and generally being un-helpful. I probably would have bought one of the palettes, if I had any clue what she used on me. My eyes looked great, although I definitely could have lived without the slimy lip gloss.

A question I’ve never asked before is “when is a sex toy worth $300.” Generally, I think the answer is never, unless it’s also a piece of furniture or something. But when does a sex toy cost $300—according to the people at Booty Parlor, when it’s pink and has a tail. Yes, a tail. Picture here (Not work friendly) and there’s also the rhinestone encrusted one. Good Vibes may have well seasoned lesbians, but Booty Parlor has seemed to carve its younger, pinker niche.

I bought some fantastic jewelry, but I’m not going to spoil the surprise.


I didn’t spend too much money, I had a pretty good time. It was worth it the first time, but I don’t think I’d go back again. And now that I’ve found my favorite new jewelry designer, and her website is going live in the next few weeks, I don’t need to find any new things.

1 Comments:

  • At September 23, 2005 10:24 PM, Blogger lydia said…

    Everything is better with a furry pink tail.

    I was hoping the goodie bag would be more... good. Hmm. Well, I look foward to my b-day present, nonetheless.

     

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