Book I'm reading now:

Catfight: Women and Competition by Leora Tanenbaum

I don't recommend it. So, far i'm not quite 1/3 of the way through the 300 pages, i hope it will get better, but i doubt it. As you know, I judge books by their covers, and I seriously mis-judged this one.

I don't like being told that i'm oppressed, or being held down by the man, or whatever. I am totally privilidged, and have never felt any real effects of sexism. I can form my own opinions, thank you. The author is a woman with absolutely no self-esteem, where every guy on the street, every magazine ad, every hollywood profile makes her feel inferior. She needs to get over herself. The book is peppered with examples of her youth where she let herself feel inferior to just about everything. Unfortunately for the american public, she got over this just enough to make herself write a book, but not enough for the book to be good, or helpful to me.

Let's take a look at some of her insight:

You'd think the desire to be liked would make girls and women bloom beneath the rays of another woman's admiration. Yet the opposite is often true: We worry that admiration could lead to envy and resentment. When a female friend or colleague tells us how much she respects our work, we're inclined to say, "Oh, it's not as important as what you do." If she admires our outfit, many of us habitually respond, "This? Uch, it's just something I got on sale five years ago" or "really? you do?" the words "thank you" don't occur to us. God forbid we come across as complacent or proud.

I don't know about this "us" and "we" thing. I personally tell people thank you every time they compliment me. IT'S THE FREAKING POLITE THING TO DO! And, I believe that I deserve every compliment I get. But I don't go out of my way to get compliments, because I don't base my self worth on what other people say. And when someone compliments my outfit, i will usually say something like "thanks, i got it on sale for $10 at ross" I'm not belittling my self by saing i got it on sale, in fact i'm proud of it, and i'm offering people tips so they themselves can find a great skirt for $10.


So

Dear Leora Tanenbaum, and whoever wrote that Men are from Mars... crap,

Please, next time you feel free to categorize an entire gender, leave me out of it. I will make my own rules for myself. And I don't want to listen to you telling me about how I am.

Do you know why I'm not an astronaut? Because I had some really bad science teachers in High School that made me lose interest in science. Who's fault is this, my own, for not keeping the interest up on my own. I wasn't given bad teachers because i was female, both genders equally filled the class. Not because I don't feel like I can compete with men in a male dominated profession. And not because my lack of a penis makes me bad with figures, numbers and concrete examples.

Do you want to know why I'm not a fireperson. Because I prefer a career path based on brains rather than brawn. Not because I couldn't be strong enough if I tried. Not because it's "men's work"

Why do I not look like a supermodel? Because I choose to spend my time and money pursuing other things, like education, and having a healthy relationship to food. If my full time job was to be beautiful, then I could certainly succeed. I could excercise, I could starve myself, I would have people paid to dress me, fix my hair, fix my makeup, and I could be up on a pedestal (a tall one to make up for my height).

In the immortal words of Mattel "We girls can do anything. Right, Barbie?" And if Barbie could talk the astronaut, rock star, WWF panda protector, fashion model, presidental candidate, ballerina, teacher, army recruit, equestrian, and fantastic date would say "Abso-fucking-lutely."

Once again, please, in your writing, please change the word "women" to the phrase "women, except Cynthia and others like her"

thank you,
-------

Conclusion: gender studies is crap
Conclusion 2: It's not my fault so many women have such low self esteem. I'm doing my part.
conclusion 3: i should write a book and show these cowering jerks how it's done.