Wed. Tv recap

The finale of Beauty and the Geek was a big let down. No one had to do anything they weren’t good at. And since there were only 2 teams left, we saw way to freaking much of Richard and his giant ears and lips.

The challenge didn’t happen until the last 2 mins of the show. And the first 4 mins involved each person doing something they were good at. And since there wasn’t any conflict, we finally were shown what everyone knew all along, beauties and geeks are BORING when left to their own devices.

The showdown involved answering questions about your partner. Boring. Who freaking cares if someone you don’t know was born in Idaho or Nebraska. Whatever, thankfully Richard lost. And saved his partner the embarrassment of being seen on camera making out with that freakshow. (Because she said if they won the $250,000 she would).

Stay tuned for the after-show show next week!

And just when I was about to turn off the tv and do something productive, I saw it in the guide. My newest favorite show. In the grand tradition of MTV’s putting people in houses and filming them. And in the tradition of PBS’s Manor House, 1800’s house, 1900’s house, 1940’s house and Frontier House (and I have seen the majority of episodes of all these), there is now MTV’s The 70’s House. Unlike the PBS counterparts, this is a competition.

I’ll start at the beginning. You can tell the cast is brilliant from the start when they walk into their brady bunch looking house and look confused. You see, they didn’t actually know what they signed up for. They figured it was some real world show where they’d have super modern quarters etc. But this house is the pinnacle of 70’s design. I liked it, but I do love a well carried out theme. Each kid is identified by their name and zodiac sign (I think there’s one of each).

So they’re told they’re competing to be the most 70’s. and I guess every week they kick the most modern one out. First, everything modern is confiscated: cds, I-pods, computers, cell phones, and modern hair care etc. Then they’re shown to the closets and have to pick some polyester atrocities to wear. At this point my dad said, “you know, they had jeans back in the 70’s,” but jeans are normal, and wouldn’t humiliate anyone on tv. Then they get a groovy slang lecture. They’re shown the kitchen which has the only phone in the house (rotary of course, and they get a lesson on using it, it seems), and new 70’s processed and/ or super popular foods like wonder bread, twinkies, and chef Boyardee—no microwave of course. At this point, I’m concerned for the nutrition of these children: scratchy polyester, and crap processed foods do not make happy bodies. Surely, they had fruit and vegetables back then

Then we go downstairs to the “Shag” room. It was fantastic! And we meet Charlie—I mean Oscar, but we don’t meet him. He only talks to us through a black box. And it seems to me that not one single person in the house realizes the tie-in. It’s a house full of people who can’t think back further than 1990, and have never even seen VH1’s I love the 70’s. The first challenge is basketball—complete with 70’s uniforms. This works out better for the girls, because modern girls wear shorter shorts anyway, but the boys were taken aback for a while.

One team wins, and they win a fondue party. Apparently no one on the team knows what fondue is. And apparently MTV makes a crappy fondue, because everyone hates it. I don’t know what’s wrong with kids today. How can anyone dislike melted cheese??

The other team is up for someone to be eliminated. So 2 people are nominated for being the least 70’s. and they compete in a rousing game of operation. The loser loses and the winner wins, the bell rings and everyone does the hustle. Yes, the house has a bell, and when the bell rings, any time, day or night, everyone has to hustle.

We can look forward to a bunch more weeks of kids proving how useless they are without today’s modern frills.

I can’t wait for this to be a runaway hit and then next season they have 80’s house. I’d totally sign up, but I’m probably too old? Actually I’d love to be in this house too, because 70’s home décor was much more fun, and all the records and 8-tracks in that house: totally groovy.

Can you dig it?